As we approach our last weeks in Tokyo, it's time to reflect back on our experiences.
Here are five things you probably do everyday (or very often) that you don't have to think about or ask for help to do (hence, take for granted).
5. Taking Your Kid to the Doctor
It's a pain to take your kid to the doctor,and stressful when it's an emergency or your child is ill. Now do that in system that's in a foreign language and only open bank hours. When I took Ronin to his 1 month appointment at the hospital, it was super stressful. I thought I had an appointment. Nope, it turns about 20 babies had an appointment and there was an assembly line system for visits (they checked two babies at a time). Plus I had to watch a 15 minute video in Japanese about giving my kid a bath. Nozomi had stitches, and broken collarbone. There was also the time Erik got pnemonia. Thank goodness for helpful neighbors and the international clinic across town.
4. Using a Microwave (or any electronics)
I bet you just put your food in the microwave and just push a button. I bet it didn't take you a month to figure out how to use your microwave. I bet you can make microwave popcorn without burning it (maybe).
3. Ordering at a Restaurant
Restaurant etiquette is slightly different in Japan. Now imagine you can't read the menu and there are no pictures. Imagine not knowing if the restaurant is kid friendly. The first few months we only went with friends or to restaurants with english menus. Now we know where to go and how to read the foods we love.
2. Going Grocery Shopping
My first emotional breakdown came after I went to the grocery store. I came home with nothing, sat in the bathtub and cried. I've since learned to navigate it pretty well. But you would cry, too, if you had trouble finding simple things like milk, eggs, bread and pasta or expressing you brought your own eco bag. And we had to get use to shopping almost everyday since we have a small fridge and everything we buy is fresh.
1. Using a Toilet
You think you know how to use a toilet, but it's different in every country. In Japan sometimes there is a squatty potty. And then sometimes you get the fancy electric toilet that has a heated seat, plays music, self-sanitizes, as well as washes and dries your bum. I'm going to miss my fancy toilet.
Living abroad has taught me that even the simplest things can be very challenging. Everyday living can be emotionally draining. Next time you see a new person in your country, be kind. They are doing their best to navigate a completely different system.
Monday, May 8, 2017
Tuesday, February 7, 2017
Sunday, February 5, 2017
Tuesday, October 18, 2016
Different
Sunday afternoon my daughter and I attended her friend's birthday party.
She was the only blue eyed, blonde hair girl there.
She was the only completely white kid there.
And I wonder if she notices these things. Does she know that none of the kids look like her? Does she understand that not everyone speaks like her?
At school a little girl asked her "What is applesauce?"
I'm the parent that packed my kid a weird lunch with strange foods.
And I think perhaps my child does know these things because she asked for a rice ball in her lunch.
I grew up in a small town where we had one family that was black. One family. A mixed family. They still live there. I never thought anything about race, but with each new candle we put on my child's birthday cake, I wonder more and more what it was like for those kids to grow up being the only minority. Because my daughter is growing up as the outsider.
It's hard to put into words race and white privilege when you live in Tokyo. Many times I feel privileged. People think I am a tourist and are welcoming. On the playground mothers and children go out of their way to give in to my child. We are given random gifts on the train. I have a pass to mess up the unspoken customs. I can bend the rules because I am the stranger and do not know better.
And other times I feel completely lost and invisible. It's like I don't exist here. I go to the store and the cashier will ask me a question I've not heard before. I feel stupid. Everything I have learned about buying groceries is gone, and I stand speechless and make guesses to the answer of the question. I am hopelessly confused as to what I did wrong. I answered the question wrong and did not get a bag for my groceries. I feel foolish as I try to creatively stuff things in the stroller. I'm embarrassed as I try to pretend this was my plan. Inside I'm crying. I have an Master's degree and a Superior IQ and I can't even buy groceries the correct way.
I can never be equal to my Japanese peers. I can never become a citizen. If I get accused of committing a crime, I most likely will be found guilty. I am always wrong. I do not have the privilege of discounts provided to tourists, yet do not have the benefits of a citizen. Even though my daughter has a Japanese name, the city ward office sends all her paperwork with her name in katakana, an alphabet reserved for things that are foreign, things that are different, things that are not Japanese.
Since my child is starting school, we talked about stranger danger. I asked her if she knew what a stranger was. She said, "Yes, they try to touch my hair." My heart broke. My child has been reduced to an object. When strangers tell her she's cute or a doll, she screams out "NO!" She tells me she's not a doll. She's a human.
I wonder when we'll start seeing each other as human.
She was the only blue eyed, blonde hair girl there.
She was the only completely white kid there.
And I wonder if she notices these things. Does she know that none of the kids look like her? Does she understand that not everyone speaks like her?
At school a little girl asked her "What is applesauce?"
I'm the parent that packed my kid a weird lunch with strange foods.
And I think perhaps my child does know these things because she asked for a rice ball in her lunch.
I grew up in a small town where we had one family that was black. One family. A mixed family. They still live there. I never thought anything about race, but with each new candle we put on my child's birthday cake, I wonder more and more what it was like for those kids to grow up being the only minority. Because my daughter is growing up as the outsider.
It's hard to put into words race and white privilege when you live in Tokyo. Many times I feel privileged. People think I am a tourist and are welcoming. On the playground mothers and children go out of their way to give in to my child. We are given random gifts on the train. I have a pass to mess up the unspoken customs. I can bend the rules because I am the stranger and do not know better.
And other times I feel completely lost and invisible. It's like I don't exist here. I go to the store and the cashier will ask me a question I've not heard before. I feel stupid. Everything I have learned about buying groceries is gone, and I stand speechless and make guesses to the answer of the question. I am hopelessly confused as to what I did wrong. I answered the question wrong and did not get a bag for my groceries. I feel foolish as I try to creatively stuff things in the stroller. I'm embarrassed as I try to pretend this was my plan. Inside I'm crying. I have an Master's degree and a Superior IQ and I can't even buy groceries the correct way.
I can never be equal to my Japanese peers. I can never become a citizen. If I get accused of committing a crime, I most likely will be found guilty. I am always wrong. I do not have the privilege of discounts provided to tourists, yet do not have the benefits of a citizen. Even though my daughter has a Japanese name, the city ward office sends all her paperwork with her name in katakana, an alphabet reserved for things that are foreign, things that are different, things that are not Japanese.
Since my child is starting school, we talked about stranger danger. I asked her if she knew what a stranger was. She said, "Yes, they try to touch my hair." My heart broke. My child has been reduced to an object. When strangers tell her she's cute or a doll, she screams out "NO!" She tells me she's not a doll. She's a human.
I wonder when we'll start seeing each other as human.
Thursday, October 13, 2016
The Huangs & Roths
One of our favorite shows to watch is Fresh Off theBoat. Don’t let the name keep you
away. It’s a very loving comedy about a
Taiwanese family that moves from Washington DC to Orlando, Florida in the
90s. They struggle to keep their Chinese
heritage and culture while trying to be a successful middle class family in
Florida. Throw in a handful of nostalgic
90s references (the oldest boy loves hip-hop and rap) and it’s just hilarious.
It’s also our story.
We relate so much to the Huang family in the show. They are the Asian family living in white Florida, and we are the white Americans living in Eastern Asia. We laugh because we can relate to their struggle to learn a new culture as well as keep their own. For example, on their show you walk into their house and it’s like their own private escape to China. Our apartment is the same way. It’s very Americanized (except for our Japanese Tatami room). Our neighbor kids come over to see how the “other” lives.
It’s also our story.
We relate so much to the Huang family in the show. They are the Asian family living in white Florida, and we are the white Americans living in Eastern Asia. We laugh because we can relate to their struggle to learn a new culture as well as keep their own. For example, on their show you walk into their house and it’s like their own private escape to China. Our apartment is the same way. It’s very Americanized (except for our Japanese Tatami room). Our neighbor kids come over to see how the “other” lives.
They work hard to celebrate their own culture traditions and holidays,
just like we do. In one episode (The Year of the Rat) they
can’t go back to DC for Chinese New Year, so they have to make due with
celebrating in Florida. They are
disappointed when they go to the community center where an Asian Culture
Appreciation group is hosting a New Year’s Party. They are the only Chinese people there and
somehow the white people have gotten all the details wrong. Switch to our lives in Japan, and Christmas
here is very similar. We can’t go home,
but eating KFC chicken and Christmas cake is not our tradition. Thankfully, like the Huangs, we have friends
in our new land that help us not only keep our culture, but share our
traditions.
The third season premiere was this week. The Huang family went to Taiwan to attend a wedding….and experience reverse culture shock. Jessica, the mother, struggled to do things that she was once good at, such as shopping at the night market. (It reminded me of the first time I just completely shut down trying to order at restaurant. Um, what do I say again?) During one scene, Jessica was walking down the street with her three boys. She turned to one of the boys and said “who are you?” She had lost her youngest and another kid was standing with them. (Her son was standing back 50 meters holding a red flag up that said “Mommy!”). I laughed so hard. This is me when we are back in the states. I remember the first time I took Nozomi to the Mall of America. I felt so paranoid and on high alert, because if I lost her, every kid looked alike! They all had blonde hair. This is never an issue when we are the only white family around.
At the end of the episode, the parents were discussing their situation. The father was regretting moving to the US because perhaps he could have had a better life in Taiwan. The mother (who is the proudest of her heritage) said that she had changed. She was glad they had decided to take the risk and come to the US. But they also talked about how they didn’t really fit in either country.
“That’s us!” I said.
And it is.
We’ve weaved our cultures and traditions with the ones we’ve embraced in the many places we've been to become something new.
The third season premiere was this week. The Huang family went to Taiwan to attend a wedding….and experience reverse culture shock. Jessica, the mother, struggled to do things that she was once good at, such as shopping at the night market. (It reminded me of the first time I just completely shut down trying to order at restaurant. Um, what do I say again?) During one scene, Jessica was walking down the street with her three boys. She turned to one of the boys and said “who are you?” She had lost her youngest and another kid was standing with them. (Her son was standing back 50 meters holding a red flag up that said “Mommy!”). I laughed so hard. This is me when we are back in the states. I remember the first time I took Nozomi to the Mall of America. I felt so paranoid and on high alert, because if I lost her, every kid looked alike! They all had blonde hair. This is never an issue when we are the only white family around.
At the end of the episode, the parents were discussing their situation. The father was regretting moving to the US because perhaps he could have had a better life in Taiwan. The mother (who is the proudest of her heritage) said that she had changed. She was glad they had decided to take the risk and come to the US. But they also talked about how they didn’t really fit in either country.
“That’s us!” I said.
And it is.
We’ve weaved our cultures and traditions with the ones we’ve embraced in the many places we've been to become something new.
Saturday, September 3, 2016
Visitors Welcome! Your Short Guide to Tokyo
Nozomi and I were at the park yesterday when my freshman college roommate sent me a message: Is April a good time to visit?
YES! I replied.
We absolutely love hosting people and showing them around Tokyo. We tell all our visitors at church that we secretly moonlight as free tour guides. That's right, come visit our church and it's very likely Pastor Erik will take you to his favorite ramen restaurant. Leaders from the South Carolina synod (Japan's companion synod) are coming to visit this spring and we are ecstatic to help plan their trip with the JELC office.
As soon as I find out someone is coming to visit, the wheels in my brain start turning to help them plan their trip. So here is a short handy guide from the Roth family.
WHEN TO VISIT:
Whenever you can afford it. It can be expensive to fly here. The best time to come is during cherry blossom season. Full blooms are usually end of March beginning of April. Stay away from the first week of May. That's Golden week and all of Japan is on vacation for a few days. The rainy seasons starts mid-June through mid-July, followed by a terrible season of very hot and humid. For those pretty red Maple trees, come in November. Winters are mild and a great time to head to the mountains to ski.
WHERE TO VISIT IN TOKYO:
We have some favorite spots for our guests who have a limited time (2-3 days):
1. Shinjuku Gyoen National Garden Japanese, English, and French Gardens. Longest Blooms.
2. Tokyo Metropolitan Building Free Observation Deck.
3. Meiji Shrine
4. Asakusa Temple
5. Takeshita Dori (Harajuku)
6. Hachiko/Shibuya Crossing Most crossed piece of land in the world.
7. Edo-Tokyo Museum Learn the history of Tokyo. Great for a rainy day.
*Double check if places are open. Monday is the closed day for most places in Japan.*
For a day trip:
Head to Kamakura to see many beautiful temples and shrines, including the giant buddha.
OUTSIDE OF TOKYO:
1. Kyoto (and Nara if time) Kyoto is a UNESCO site.
2. Hiroshima
3. Nikko
4. Nagano (if traveling in winter. You can see the snow monkeys and ski!)
5. Nagasaki (if interested in Japanese Christian History)
HAVE CHILDREN?
We do all our traveling with our toddler. Tokyo is a great place for kids. Almost every department store, museum, zoo, public place has a child size toilet and a place to nurse your baby and change a diaper. You can buy drinks and diapers in many vending machines in these areas.
Here are our favorite kid spots in Tokyo.
1. Asobono (great for a rainy day)
2. Ueno Zoo
3. Niko Niko Park
4. Railway Museum
5. Odakyu Play deck (9th floor) and Shinjuku Train Station (New South Terrace Exit) We love to watch the trains. Grab Starbucks or a Krispy Kreme Donut from nearby.
WHERE TO STAY:
We're always on a tight budget. But if you have the money and want to treat yourself, we usually recommend the Hilton or Hyatt in Shinjuku. It's close to us and has a great breakfast. The staff is also very helpful.
You should know that hotels charge by the person and do not allow as many people in a room as an American hotel would. If you have a large number of people, children, or want to save money, stay at a traditional Japanese Ryokan. We love them. Airbnb is also very popular.
HOW TO GET FROM THE AIRPORT:
The best way to get from Narita to Shinjuku (and other locations) is to take the Narita Express Train or the Friendly Limousine Bus. There are lots of friendly people and volunteers who speak English to help you figure this out. It's usually about $30 to get to Shinjuku station. A taxi will cost you about $200.
MONEY:
We tell people to come with about 20,000 yen ($200) to get to and from the airport. It's better to get your money from an ATM to get a better rate. 7-11 and Japan Post Office Bank have ATM that accept cards from overseas. You can withdrawal 50,000yen ($500) at a time. Be sure to tell your bank your in Japan.
This is a cash country. For food, travel, and sightseeing you will need cash. Credit Cards are accepted at stores.
TRAVEL IN JAPAN:
Public transportation is awesome. There are all types of passes you can get to save money. Buy before you come. It's important to note that the JAPAN RAILPASS does not cover the shinkansen (train) to Kyoto and Hiroshima. We usually find that unless you are planning to visit many places out of Tokyo and have your trip well planned it's not worth getting this pass. Google maps does a great job of helping you figure out fares between locations. Sometimes it's cheaper to fly than take the train. If staying in Tokyo, you will spend less than $10 a day on public transportation. Sometimes it's cheaper to take a taxi if you are going a short distance and have a large (4 people) group. Do your research.
WHAT TO EAT:
Um, everything. Erik always comments that Tokyo has more restaurants per person than any other place in the world. If you asked me to describe Tokyo: I'd say yummy. You can eat well on a budget, too. Lunch is incredibly cheap. And you can get any type of food here. With the upcoming 2020 Olympics and an increase in tourism, it's easier to find a restaurant that has an English menu.
HELPFUL WEBSITES:
Japan I Can
Japan Guide
Best Living Japan
Tokyo Metro
JR East
Obviously there is much much more to do and see and places to stay. These are the ones we are most familiar with and come to the top of our minds.
YES! I replied.
We absolutely love hosting people and showing them around Tokyo. We tell all our visitors at church that we secretly moonlight as free tour guides. That's right, come visit our church and it's very likely Pastor Erik will take you to his favorite ramen restaurant. Leaders from the South Carolina synod (Japan's companion synod) are coming to visit this spring and we are ecstatic to help plan their trip with the JELC office.
As soon as I find out someone is coming to visit, the wheels in my brain start turning to help them plan their trip. So here is a short handy guide from the Roth family.
WHEN TO VISIT:
Whenever you can afford it. It can be expensive to fly here. The best time to come is during cherry blossom season. Full blooms are usually end of March beginning of April. Stay away from the first week of May. That's Golden week and all of Japan is on vacation for a few days. The rainy seasons starts mid-June through mid-July, followed by a terrible season of very hot and humid. For those pretty red Maple trees, come in November. Winters are mild and a great time to head to the mountains to ski.
WHERE TO VISIT IN TOKYO:
We have some favorite spots for our guests who have a limited time (2-3 days):
1. Shinjuku Gyoen National Garden Japanese, English, and French Gardens. Longest Blooms.
2. Tokyo Metropolitan Building Free Observation Deck.
3. Meiji Shrine
4. Asakusa Temple
5. Takeshita Dori (Harajuku)
6. Hachiko/Shibuya Crossing Most crossed piece of land in the world.
7. Edo-Tokyo Museum Learn the history of Tokyo. Great for a rainy day.
*Double check if places are open. Monday is the closed day for most places in Japan.*
For a day trip:
Head to Kamakura to see many beautiful temples and shrines, including the giant buddha.
OUTSIDE OF TOKYO:
1. Kyoto (and Nara if time) Kyoto is a UNESCO site.
2. Hiroshima
3. Nikko
4. Nagano (if traveling in winter. You can see the snow monkeys and ski!)
5. Nagasaki (if interested in Japanese Christian History)
HAVE CHILDREN?
We do all our traveling with our toddler. Tokyo is a great place for kids. Almost every department store, museum, zoo, public place has a child size toilet and a place to nurse your baby and change a diaper. You can buy drinks and diapers in many vending machines in these areas.
Here are our favorite kid spots in Tokyo.
1. Asobono (great for a rainy day)
2. Ueno Zoo
3. Niko Niko Park
4. Railway Museum
5. Odakyu Play deck (9th floor) and Shinjuku Train Station (New South Terrace Exit) We love to watch the trains. Grab Starbucks or a Krispy Kreme Donut from nearby.
WHERE TO STAY:
We're always on a tight budget. But if you have the money and want to treat yourself, we usually recommend the Hilton or Hyatt in Shinjuku. It's close to us and has a great breakfast. The staff is also very helpful.
You should know that hotels charge by the person and do not allow as many people in a room as an American hotel would. If you have a large number of people, children, or want to save money, stay at a traditional Japanese Ryokan. We love them. Airbnb is also very popular.
HOW TO GET FROM THE AIRPORT:
The best way to get from Narita to Shinjuku (and other locations) is to take the Narita Express Train or the Friendly Limousine Bus. There are lots of friendly people and volunteers who speak English to help you figure this out. It's usually about $30 to get to Shinjuku station. A taxi will cost you about $200.
MONEY:
We tell people to come with about 20,000 yen ($200) to get to and from the airport. It's better to get your money from an ATM to get a better rate. 7-11 and Japan Post Office Bank have ATM that accept cards from overseas. You can withdrawal 50,000yen ($500) at a time. Be sure to tell your bank your in Japan.
This is a cash country. For food, travel, and sightseeing you will need cash. Credit Cards are accepted at stores.
TRAVEL IN JAPAN:
Public transportation is awesome. There are all types of passes you can get to save money. Buy before you come. It's important to note that the JAPAN RAILPASS does not cover the shinkansen (train) to Kyoto and Hiroshima. We usually find that unless you are planning to visit many places out of Tokyo and have your trip well planned it's not worth getting this pass. Google maps does a great job of helping you figure out fares between locations. Sometimes it's cheaper to fly than take the train. If staying in Tokyo, you will spend less than $10 a day on public transportation. Sometimes it's cheaper to take a taxi if you are going a short distance and have a large (4 people) group. Do your research.
WHAT TO EAT:
Um, everything. Erik always comments that Tokyo has more restaurants per person than any other place in the world. If you asked me to describe Tokyo: I'd say yummy. You can eat well on a budget, too. Lunch is incredibly cheap. And you can get any type of food here. With the upcoming 2020 Olympics and an increase in tourism, it's easier to find a restaurant that has an English menu.
HELPFUL WEBSITES:
Japan I Can
Japan Guide
Best Living Japan
Tokyo Metro
JR East
Obviously there is much much more to do and see and places to stay. These are the ones we are most familiar with and come to the top of our minds.
Friday, September 2, 2016
The MamaChari
 |
| Our "new" bicycle: a mamachari. |
I've put off getting a bicycle for a long time. They come with the same responsibility as owning a car. A bike must be registered with the city. It also must have insurance. If you hurt someone while riding, you can be sued for lots of money. It also has to have a place to park. And then of course you have to know where you can park it when you are out and about, and the rules of the road.
We've been car free for the last four years, so I've enjoyed the freedom of just going without worrying about these things. I've put off getting a bike because I was pregnant, Nozomi was so little, and they can be super expensive. (A new Mamachari can cost you between $1,000-2,000USD).
My friend was gracious and left the bike at the church over summer for us. We secured a parking spot at our apartment complex. It cost us $30 (3,000yen) a year to park our bike. Today we took it to the bike shop to register it. Paperwork in Japan makes me nervous. I never know how well I will be able to communicate. Erik went with me because he speaks better Japanese. Thankfully the employee at the bike shop spoke English and knew exactly what I wanted when I showed him my papers.
It cost $5 (500 yen) to register the bike. After he gave the bike a "check-up", I was able to buy insurance for $20 (2,000 yen)/year. I am now covered for parking and insurance for the next year. He even showed me how to adjust the seat.
I was then set for my first bike ride home. The Mamachari is heavier than bikes I've had in the past. I've ridden while pulling kids in a chariot, but this is very different. My bike has a seat on the front and back, so that I can ride with two children or carry groceries. The most impressive thing about the bike is that it has a battery to assist with pedaling. Honestly this scared me the first time I turned it on. (Ahhh! The bike is moving on it's own!!!!) I practiced riding around a while and it felt good to be back on a bike. It was amazing the first time I used the battery assist to go up hill. It took no effort to climb up the giant hill by our house.
My husband is super concerned about me riding it, so I'm going to practice more before I take Nozomi on any rides. I've also already heard comments that I shouldn't ride a bike with my pregnant belly. I take this like all other pregnancy advice: the rules vary with the culture, just be smart, safe and listen to your body.
So now, for a little while, I fit in with all the other mamas pedaling around Tokyo.
 |
| Nozomi demonstrates how many people can fit on a bike in Japan. |
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